From Tough Love to True Support: Rethinking Accountability in the Workplace
The Problem with “Tough Love” at Work
We’ve all seen leaders who falsely equate accountability with cracking down on employees. The idea is that toughness drives performance—but in reality, it often drives people toward burnout, disengagement, and silence.
Real accountability isn’t about shaming people into compliance. It’s about setting expectations, offering support, and ensuring follow-through. It’s about creating a culture where people take ownership—not out of fear, but because they feel safe and empowered to do so.
But Make No Mistake, Accountability is Key in an Effective Workplace
A question I often get when talking about trauma informed cultures, empathetic leadership, or even just a mental health-friendly workplace is - "What about Accountability?" And my response is always the same- you can't have any of these things without accountability, it's just rethinking our idea of accountability and the 'how' of driving it on your team.
Keep in mind, accountability isn’t about being nice for the sake of being nice. It’s about ensuring results, maintaining standards, and fostering trust. A lack of accountability can lead to:
Low team performance – When expectations are unclear or consequences are inconsistent, people stop trying.
Resentment among employees – When high performers see others getting away with poor work, motivation drops.
Loss of credibility for leadership – If leaders don’t enforce accountability fairly, they lose the respect of their teams.
The goal isn’t to remove accountability—it’s to apply it with fairness, transparency, and support.
How to Create Accountability That Actually Works
Shift from Blame to Problem-Solving
Instead of: “You messed this up.”
Try: “Let’s talk about what happened and what support you need next time.”
Model: Openly discuss a mistake you made, how you addressed it, and what you learned
Shift from Fear to Psychological Safety
Instead of: “If you fail, that’s on you.”
Try: “Mistakes happen—what can we learn from this?”
Model: Share a time you took a risk, failed, and were (ideally) supported, reinforcing that learning from failure is part of growth. If you weren't supported, share what would have been more helpful for you in that experience.
Shift from Compliance to Commitment
Instead of: “Just follow the process.”
Try: “Let’s discuss why this process matters and how you can take ownership of it.”
Model: Explain how a certain policy or process contributes to the company’s success and invite team input on making it more effective.
What Leaders Can Do Right Now
Model accountability. Own your mistakes openly. It builds trust.
Be clear about expectations. People can’t be accountable for things they don’t fully understand.
Balance accountability with empathy. A culture of fear is never a high-performance culture.
Create choice for your team. When team members have choices, they feel empowered and are more likely to take ownership. Bonus, this is one of the best ways to create a more trauma informed culture- because at the root of most traumatic experiences is a lack of choice and power.
*Originally published on LinkedIn on February 14, 2025